In a WhatsApp group I belong to, I saw the following purportedly written by Reno Omokri. It is a long read, and I implore you to kindly read till the end:
What Would Peter Obi Have Said If An Elevator Malfunctioned In Nigeria While President Tinubu Was Using It?
This was President Trump and First Lady Melania as they were stuck on a malfunctioning elevator yesterday at the United Nations building in New York. Yet, have you seen a single American saying, ‘America is finished’ because of the snafu? If this had been President Tinubu and First Lady Senator Oluremi Tinubu, what do you think Peter Obi and his horde of Rudapests would have done? Of course, they would have de-marketed Nigeria with their usual tirade of ‘Nigeria is finished’.
A string of good things has recently occurred in Nigeria. Please fact-check me: Our economy grew by 4.23% last quarter. To put this in context, the United Kingdom’s economy grew by only 0.2% within the same period. Also, oil theft has been reduced to less than 10,000 Barrels Per Day, a sixteen-year low. The result is that Nigeria has overshot its OPEC quota for three consecutive months for the first time in over a decade and is set to do the same for the fourth month, producing an average of 1.71 million Barrels Per Day.
Additionally, Nigeria’s total income has increased by 411%, even as the nation generated revenues of ₦3.65 trillion in September 2025, compared to the ₦711 billion recorded in May 2023, the last month of the Buhari era. Also, after a record trade surplus last year, Nigeria appears set to beat its 2024 figure. Our trade surplus rose 44.3% in Q2 to ₦7.46 trillion, up from ₦5.17 trillion in Q1. Food prices have significantly reduced, resulting in a drop in inflation to 20.12% in August 2025, a 1.76% drop from July’s 21.88%. And finally, Foreign Reserves are above $42 billion.
However, none of these positive events has attracted Peter Obi’s attention. But let one negative event happen outside Igboland, and Peter Obi will immediately exaggerate it. This is in line with Obi’s tribalistic character. That is Peter Obi’s regular trademark. If it happens in Igboland, Obi will suddenly become deaf, dumb, and blind. But Peter Obi will dance naked in public if it occurs in the North or Southwest. Or am I lying? – By Reno Omokri
Me:
The Dance on the Rooftop While the House Burns: A Response to Reno’s Sweetened Narrative ⬆️
When a man is paid to sweep the palace square, he will never tell the king that the outer walls are crumbling. He will present a perfectly clean corner and declare the entire kingdom in order. This is the tragic comedy we witness today with the hired voices of this administration, who, like the proverbial “frog that boasts from the safety of its swamp,” sing praises of a prosperity that exists only in press releases and fabricated spreadsheets.
This recent sermon by Reno Omokri, a man whose political convictions shift with the direction of the financial wind, is a masterclass in this deception. He asks us to ignore the groaning stomachs of millions and instead marvel at the economic figures dancing on a screen. But we must ask: What is the value of a towering iroko tree if its shade provides no coolness and its roots drink all the water, leaving the surrounding soil barren?
The Feast of Numbers and the Famine of Reality:
They trumpet a 4.23% economic growth, comparing it to the United Kingdom’s 0.2%. This is like comparing the growth of a malnourished child to that of a fully grown adult. The UK’s 0.2% is an addition to a massive, industrialised economy. Our 4.23%, however, is a calculation on a base weakened by decades of neglect and recent, punishing policies. When the price of garri triples, the economy “grows” on paper, but the pot in the common man’s kitchen grows emptier. This is not growth; it is the “inflation of suffering,” a statistical illusion that masks the real hunger in the land.
They celebrate a trade surplus of ₦7.46 trillion. But where is this surplus felt? Has it repaired the collapsed Lagos-Ibadan expressway? Has it stocked our hospitals with medicines? Has it reduced the tuition fees of our universities? A national surplus that does not translate to the well-being of the citizens is like a man who counts his wealth in a currency that cannot buy food in his own market. It is a meaningless number, a “beautiful cloth that cannot cover nakedness.”
The claim that food prices have “significantly reduced” is an insult to every Nigerian who has faced the market square. To say inflation has dropped to 20.12% is to celebrate a slight decrease in the speed of a falling knife. It is still falling, and it is still cutting deep. When a man’s headache changes from a pounding sledgehammer to a constant, debilitating drill, he is not healed. He is still in pain.
The Paid Drummer and the Silent Village:
Reno Omokri’s sudden, fervent support for an administration he once opposed is a story as old as politics itself. It is the story of “the hunter who, after failing to kill the leopard, is hired to beat the drum for its coronation.” He speaks of “Rudapests” and tribal bias, but this is a classic tactic: when you cannot defend the message, attack the messenger with noise. It is an attempt to divert attention from the empty pot by pointing at the flies buzzing around it.
The real issue is not Peter Obi’s hypothetical reaction to a malfunctioning elevator. The real issue is that in Nigeria, the entire national elevator is stuck. It is stuck between floors—with the elite on the top, enjoying the view, and the masses trapped in the dark, stifling basement. And the paid drummers outside are telling those in the basement to be patient, that the elevator’s machinery is showing “impressive growth metrics.”
They boast of foreign reserves while the Naira continues its disgraceful slide against the dollar. They celebrate oil production quotas while the fumes of their fuel subsidy removal have suffocated small businesses and extinguished the hopes of millions. They talk of increased revenue while our debt servicing consumes a lion’s share of that very income, leaving crumbs for development. This is not success; it is a “mathematical juju,” a clever arrangement of numbers designed to confuse the hungry.
A Nation’s Strength is in its People, Not its Press Releases:
A nation is not finished because its leader faces a minor mechanical fault. A nation is finished when its leaders become so isolated from the people that they need paid agents to translate their suffering into a song of progress. A nation is finished when the truth is hunted and lies are celebrated as patriotism.
The strength of a chain is not in its shiniest link, but in its weakest. The true measure of our economy is not the figure in a central bank report, but the ability of a primary school teacher in Makurdi to buy a bowl of rice and a piece of fish for his family after a day’s work. By that measure, we are not growing; we are groaning.
Let us not be fooled by the dance on the rooftop. The house is still on fire. The real patriots are not those who sweeten the bitter pill with fictitious figures, but those who dare to name the disease so we can collectively find the cure. For as our elders say, of which I am proudly one, “a man who is being swallowed by a snake and says he is in the shade will soon find himself in darkness.” The time to cry out is now, before the swallowing is complete. I come with peace!
NzeIkayMedia ✍️
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